Friday, September 30, 2005

First, official, graduate, back in Oxford, still have all my new pens, post.

So it's all going pretty good. I'm doing my best to meet new people, even offering them some of my new pens in exchange for friendship. This has been moderately successful. I was alarmed to find that one of the old stalwarts of meeting people in Oxford questions has now been rendered unusable - I can only ask people what subject they are doing a few times in an Economic lecture before I'm branded forever the Special Child. Thankfully, it has been replaced with "where did you study before?", a great question, because it creates a more than one word answer. Unless the answer is "here", in which case I need to call upon all my improv skills to advance the conversation. "What, here?", I say. "Yes, here", they reply. And so a new friendship blossoms.

All in all, my use of that question, as well as "what is your name?" and "what college are you at?" have made me somewhat of a hit with all of the class. I asked one guy a combination of these questions nineteen times, incorrectly as it turned out. It's all about timing. If you pound these questions over and over again with machine-like frequency then people will get tired of answering. It's important to let the awkward silence build, before going in for another round of name enquiry.

Anyway, I expect I'll be spending a lot of time with my new friends, whatever they are called. And wherever they live. And wherever they studied before this. And whatever they are called.

Love.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Hey,

I think the summer is ending. No, no, really. So imagine my annoyance to discover a really great rock club right here in this hole of a town. I mean, seriously, I'm walking in, and Trivium are on. Then it slowly gets slower, more punky, more poppy, until it descends into some "crowd-pleasing" indie. There was no need for indie, the room was full of rockers. I didn't even realise there was such a large community here. They also played some ska. I don't get ska. Why are they all so happy? Why do they make you want to bounce and smile so? Who said they could make songs that are sunny and cheerful? Fuckers.

Anyway, at one o'clock, they play the first Slipknot song. Then they play Killing In The Name Of. Then, fuck me, Davidian by Machine Head, and a massive pit explodes. We get more of the 'knot, a Hatebreed track, and some other proper metal, I loosen my neck verterbrae, irrepairably damage my ears and hop off home happy.

But to find something more interesting, I got into a conversation with someone when Papa Roach came on. My point was that even though I would never listen to that metal anymore, I basically owe any interest I have, for the past five years to them, and other nu-metal bands like them. If I hadn't heard "Last Resort" or Korn's "Got the Life" (or, *ow ow ow* Limp Bizkit) on MTV, I would probably never have starting for looking for other bands to listen to, and realise that there was heavier, more accomplished, purer metal out there and become the fan I am now.

On the way home, I was considering all this. I guess with all sorts of music, there must be some who break through to the mainstream. Often, these are inferior bands who can be marketed and managed and used by record label executives, and that's a shame. But, it must also create a load of music fans who demand more, and find it. A kid get's interested in Eminem, and eventually find Staight Outta Compton. Someone else likes Green Day, and ends up listening to Bad Religion and the Clash. Millions of people listen to albums by the Killers and Franz Ferdinand and the Kaiser Chiefs every day, so one day, probably, one of them might develop the ability to think for themselves and stop thinking that just because the DJ said it's good doesn't mean it actually is.

I also got to thinking, the reason some people never get past the mainstream is because there's too much of it. So maybe, what the world really needed was only five nu-metal albums, and because I'm a list freak, I worked it out.

1. Korn "Korn"
2. Deftones "Around the Fur"
3. Papa Roach "Last Resort"
4. Drowning Pool "Sinner"
5. Staind "Break the Cycle"

The first two are great albums. The third one is the one that probably draws you in in the first place. The forth is because that's what every album after that point is going to sound like, so we may as well just be done with it on one CD. The fifth one is to remind people that we've tried to mix rock with pain and introspection, and it really hurt.

We are done here. Love.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Just a quick one. There's a group of lads in this town, who are basically barred from everywhere in town. The leader is called Michael Moore, and he's just got out of jail. Anyway, he and his sub-human scumfucks of friends came into All Sports today. They kicked a ball around and were generally looking to steal stuff, but we made sure we were watching and that they knew it. The second time they came in, we did the same thing, and on the way out, having been told to leave, one of them called the manager a slut. So she barred him.

He returned a minute later, to which she told him he had to be joking. Him and a friend carried on walking into the shop. We told him he was barred, and that he could get out now. He wasn't moving, but he did keep mouthing off. He was eventually going out, saying that he wasn't actually barred because he hadn't done anything, when I told him he was. He turned to me, carried on the verbal, asked me if I was going to make him go out, and then he pulled back his arm. He didn't go through with the punch, of course, because he's one of those. He left fairly soon after, after we'd had chance to further our chat, him still claiming not to be barred, and me pointing out that the verbal abuse and physical threat didn't exactly help his argument all that much.

Which is pretty much the most exciting thing that happened today.

Monday, September 05, 2005

So, I travelled Hinckley to Manchester, Manchester to Cardiff, Cardiff back to Hinckley, Hinckley to Cardiff, and didn't have a single delay. Couple of times, I was even early. On the way home, today, my first train was cancelled. I took an alternative, which got in ten minutes late, missed my connection, the next connection was delayed 33 minutes, so I get into Birmingham 2 minutes after my final train leaves. This train leaves once an hour. I finally get home at half two, having left Cath house at quarter past nine.

Why is it when trains are running late, the final one you're supposed to catch is always on time, meaning you never, EVER fucking make it? It could just have a small delay, and then everything else would be fine. But noooo. Noooo no indeedy no. Also, also, why is it, after having spent two days on the Super Sudoku in the Saturday Independent, that you have two fucking 5's in your forth column? I didn't go wrong. It went wrong on me.

We've been putting a lot of thought into the future recently. We definitely see next year as the start of our lives together, hopefully living together in Oxford. And maybe engaged. Maybe. I hope that nicely balances all the silly anger previously. Now I just have to raise the money for the ring. So here we go.

You, the listener, have been especially chosen by the Nigerian National Bank of Nigeria to receive a ridiculously large sum of money, which is approximately 5, and then 9 seconds worth of pressing the zero key down, Nigerian Dollar Yens. The only way to receive this is to send us your bank sorting code and account number, your PIN, your pen, address, spare keys, portable cleaning lady and a photo of your parents with a list of their old war injuries. Please respond quickly, because while this offer is unique, it is also unique to the entire county of Kent, a very unique county of sorts.

Love.