Cath and I went to the Vineyard at Stockcross yesterday and last night. We were upgraded on arrival to a larger, nicer suite (and the basic suite I'd ordered wasn't all that dilapidated to start with), because it was for Cath's birthday. We spent the afternoon in the spa, and ate at the restaurant in the evening. I don't write often about food, but the meal we had last night was spectacular (as you would expect at a 2 Michelin . Started with scallops, which were served with with an artichoke puree, watercress and hazelnuts - but the really amazing part was a chicken skin crisp that is one of the cleverest ideas I've ever had on a plate. Then I had turbot with pork belly and a langoustine (and other little bits like lemongrass puree and a ginger foam), which was similarly excellent, and proved conclusively that fish and pig co-exist. The desert was called a hazulnut sponge, but it was actually three small squares of sponge, with a chocolate and hazelnut ice cream topping, and two strips of caramel.

I record all this now, because it will be good to look back, in a couple years, on the exact day when food stopped being satisfying, by comparison. Damn you, Executive Chef John Campbell. DAMN YOU.

Speaking of Mr Campbell, Cath bumped into him on the way out of the restaurant, looking for the ladies room. He came across, said hello and took her on a tour of the kitchens. All the while, I sat in the bar, with a drink, wondering what was taking so long. Please see aforementioned damnation.

Today, we put up a Christmas tree. I am filled with cheer. I have attached tinsel to everything in our lounge, and it is glorious.

Yesterday, I went to Cambridge for former (and forever) Imp Alex Steer's wedding. This has been my marker, as we both were engaged around the same time. Five months to go. It's getting real.

Finally, I really like Razorlight's new song, Wire to Wire. Damn you, slow-burning catchy indie rock. DAMN YOU.

I was all poised to right a DAMN YOU post when I found out that Comedy Central no longer shows Colbert Report clips outside of the US. But then I found this. Apparently Comedy Central haven't found a way to stop embedded version of their clips playing as well. So that completely ruined my post, and now I have nothing to complain about.

Damn you, still-available Colbert videos. DAMN YOU.

I am a monumentous dumbass.

We have received a car from Cath's parents, in a kind of hand-me-down fashion after Cath's grandfather's car was passed on to Cath's mum. We drove it from Cardiff on Monday. With both of Cath's parents watching,I reversed off the drive, but because of car's parked all around the exit, I could not see well. Thinking a small gap had emerged, I backed into the road cautiously, expecting cars would slow down as they approached and let me get out.

This happened for one of the flows of traffic. From the other direction, I hear a blast of a horn, and the sickening thunk of steel-on-steel, as another car passed by my left rear wing. Speaking to the (WOMAN) driver after, she said she thought I had stopped as I back out, and had opportunity to squeeze past. I, unfortunately, did not see her - from the angle I was backing out, she was in a bit of a blind spot, and moved a little further, causing the collision. The shock and the damage was reason enough for my stomach to turn, but with the people who had just given us the car watching, this was utterly mortifying.

I was taking it entirely on faith that I could back out at that time, but with no ability to see properly, I seemed like the only thing to do. I believe I was to blame for it - it was me who pulled the car out. However, I have no idea why the other car tried to drive on past, and the more I think about it, the less I can believe she was quite so reckless.

A quick summary. Length of car ownership period: 45 seconds. Damage incurred: £260.

Damn you, expensive parts and labour. DAMN YOU.

Don't do this to me. Don't be smart. Don't be savvy. Don't be self-aware and funny. Don't make perfect sense. That's not how its supposed to be.

Damn you, Paris Hilton. DAMN YOU.

Opening Firefox.

Clicking on Facebook shortcut.

Typing in log in details.

Go to play Scrabulou...wbuh?

Damn you, restrictive yet necessary copyright laws. DAMN YOU.

Happy as a pig in ...wellies?

Wait...

Damn you, Guardian Online. DAMN YOU.

Craig 1-1 Guardian