Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Finally got around to watching Samoa Joe vs. Kenta Kobashi, the 2005 Wrestling Obsever Newsletter's match of the year and possibly the most hyped match of the past decade. Ring of Honor are the most successful of all the US indy groups, and have succeeded in attracting a number of stars from Japan to perform. Kenta Kobashi is one of the best wrestlers of all time (though if we're talking the big four from All Japan, I will always be a Kawada fan) and at present, with a career revival while his contemporaries have slowed down, is probably the biggest name is Japan. This date marks only the second match Kobashi had in America in that career, and is by far the most high profile of his matches abroad.

Samoa Joe is the top guy in Ring of Honor, and is the natural opponent for the visitor. It could be realistically argued he is the top US heavyweight worker at that moment in time, and with his size and hard-hitting style, is able to meet the older, more celebrated Kobashi on equal ground. Sensibly, the commentators remain silent throughout the match, as there is nothing they could say that the rapid crowd wasn't saying much more effectively: Kobashi's entrance hit the Reincarnated Christ level of audience approval.

This is a simple match, built as an epic heavyweight contest where both men are searching for that knockout blow. Joe starts strongest, delivering several viscious kicks and slaps, while Kobashi retaliates with chops to the chest and side of the neck. Joe has two largely dominant sections in this match - the first near the beginning where Joe lands a greater number of strikes on Kobashi, including a sickening-sounding enziguri kick to the back of Kobashi's head. The second is in the middle, where Joes uses a wider variety of moves and attacks, culminating in an STF submission hold where Kobashi battles to get to the robes, and Joe keeps finding ways of stopping him. Kobashi stops the momentum with first of two nasty looking head-drop suplexes.

At this point it becomes apparent that while Joe was leading the offence, he was not close to winning, as Kobashi comes back with an INSANE combination of probably 100 chops, leaving the rights side of Joe's chest and neck a hideous purple colour. Joe is basically done at this point, and Kobashi needs to find the final winning blow. Joe keeps trying to get back into the match with more strikes, but after one more suplex where Joe lands on his head, and a blocked lariat, Kobashi hits his own lariat for victory.

The selling is really great, with each man slowing over the course of the match, managing quick bursts of offence when necessary but not being able to maintain the pace and (crucially) demonstrating the adverse effects of this flurries. Going into the final stretch, Joe sells every strike, and bumps huge for the final lariat. The match is elevated by the crowd reaction as much as the wrestling, which while objectively is not a actual positive, makes watching twice as enjoyable. The match is not perfect by any means - Kobashi's offence is limited by his age and past injuries and sections of the middle relies on big spots too much. But it feels momentous and spectacular, and I don't finish watching it feeling the hype has excessively exceeded the actual match. Unusual, considering these are the fans that chant "This is awesome" after the first three strikes, and "match of the year" after everything else.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

All done with my Masters. Come check back in early July to find out how I did.

Tuesday was Intrusion - first time I've been since last year. Certainly not the first time I've been out since I moved to Oxford. Oh no no no. Ridiculous notion. Good night, though there was more electronica than fun goth and industrial. I think I may have given Tom a mild surprise with my pretty makeup.

Wednesday was Imps social. So far there is a lack of photos and stories of depravity. There was, however, two young dead pigs to eat.

That is all.

Monday, June 11, 2007

If anyone would like to be outside the exam schools at 12.30pm tomorrow, some seconds after I sit my final Oxford exam, I will probably come and meet you.

I did mean to say that Friday was an excellent night, my own disappointment aside. The important thing was the money, not the individuals of course, and from that perspective, I am happy to have been involved in it.

Saturday, June 09, 2007

I had a frustrating gig at Stand Up For Darfur last night. I don't think it was nerves (though you probably couldn't tell from the unintentional frantic pacing across the stage which I really can't explain) but about half way in I went blank. Nothing. I couldn't even recall my emergency backup jokes. I managed to bring it back around when I remembered what I was doing, but for a good few seconds (and they felt lengthy) I was lost. Awful feeling.

The reaction to my set was a little muted as well, though I don't think it fell all that flat. Obviously my own patchy performance was a major contributing factor to this, and coming on and just telling some jokes after Lorenzo's show-stopping sketches also didn't help. I also never felt any connection between me and the audience, and is something I will need to work out. My act should work better if we come together in a kind of "you know this is dumb, I know this is dumb, but being dumb is OK" type of feeling. If I am not charming and likeable or the audience start to feel that this isn't worth their time it'll go badly.

Things to do next time: Stand still, stay calm, don't think too hard, smile.

Friday, June 08, 2007

Cannabis causes harm. Anybody who says otherwise is lying. However, in 2006, alcohol related deaths hit over 8,000. That's just deaths. Not injuries or social problems, just the number of people killed last year due to alcohol drinking. I can't even find any information on cannabis related deaths. The one thing I'm sure about is that if there are any, they have a higher rate of self-infliction than alcohol and tobacco. Most of this is likely skunk-related, rather than the weaker stuff that is more commonly used.

There are 2 million regular cannabis smokers in the UK, so its not as if the smaller number is entirely caused by lower participation. All I would like is a bit of consistency. You want to ban all harmful drugs, then do it. I have never used illegal drugs, I've never smoked, I'm not interested in alcohol, so I wouldn't care. But surely a better solution is to allow individuals to make their own choices about what they do and help ensure they understand the long-term risks. Most drinkers don't drink themselves to an early grave, we provide a safety net for the ones that do, and prosecute those whose use affects others. Treating cannabis similarly would make general use safer and help the police waste less time on non-offences. Furthermore, I've always believed treating it as as illegal as stronger, more socially destructive drugs does more to increase gateway hard drug usage than it prevents.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Things to do before you die. Not while you're alive, but before you die. As the precious seconds tick away, tick, tick, tick, tick, quickly, quickly.

Monday, June 04, 2007

Had a gig Saturday that was just slightly the wrong side of disaster - outdoors at the Magdalen punts party in a meadow with a barbeque and a bouncy castle was not conducive to people paying me any attention. Bless the six people who were friends of Lucy Imp for sitting there and giggling at appropriate intervals, but most people really weren't into it, and I got no momentum. And I need momentum for my act to work.

As it was, I got the biggest laugh from some joke someone else made to their friends while not listening to a joke I made, which was really uncomfortable because for a second I thought I'd got my first decent reaction. I suppose, if I was more experienced, I would have abandoned set and tried to get people interested by ad-libbing and interacting. But that may have been even worse and desperate, so I just put my head down, did some jokes, didn't leave much pause for the lack of laughter to become too apparent, and took my £20.

£20 for not being entertaining. I should have done this before.

Saturday, June 02, 2007

In conclusion, the Revues of Oxford and Durham were good and the Footlights of Cambridge were totally forgetable.

Durham's bit was packed full of the kind of trendy popular surrealism that I enjoy but can get a little samey after, say, an hour. There were some excellent sketches though, with the final one as two colonialist recounting their river boat story being the best ("Jesus didn't have arrows in his hand", "He had nails"). The influence of Ricky Gervais is kind of incredible.

Even now, I can not remember one standout Footlights sketch. Their scenes meandered without an actual purpose, but not in an anarchic Python (or "good") way. Best thing was the opening MC with his conscience bit - that's not a good thing.

The Revue impressed me by actually building up stories and scenes in their sketches, something Durham don't do, preferring instead to build around wierd quirks, gags or outrageous characters. The park bench sketch was beautiful, without any gags or punchline, and was completely absorbing. I still love the Welsh cavern tour sketch, and thought the Hitler sketch was great. The end started to drag a lot until the finale - I do not like the Stalin sketch, regardless of how many references are thrown in, and the same can be said for the Roald Dahl skit and the Derren Brown one - which was utterly fantastic and rescued the show from what could have otherwise been a tepid ending. It was atually quite a long finale, with the chat around the table, before lauching into, almost out of nowhere, a song about Condi Rice exactly over the top enough to bring the whole room to ovation and remind everyone how good Revue comedy can be. King-sized.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Could someone very quickly tell me about Paradise Lost in particular and Milton is general?
Last night was probably my final Imps show of the year, as exams loom. In fact, if the exams get more loomy while the big pile of reading does not get any less loomy, Monday could have been my final Imps show as a student in Oxford. We shall not entertain this thought. Instead, we shall tell it dull stories of childhood activities during in the post-war years.

I am to do standup at the Magdalen punts party this Saturday, then a set for Stand Up for Darfur next Friday, at the Keble O'Reilly theatre. Get tickets from me. It is important to support such worthy causes - without such events, people would never go on punts.

The classic misdirection joke. I have perfected the technique: have a look at the first word of this paragraph, and while you are doing that, I shall finish the post and leave.

Friday, May 25, 2007

I've been on a bit of a high all week after the Imps on Monday, which was by far the best show I've done or been involved in this academic year. I have not been as active in the group as in previous years, as I have more pressures on my time and am looking to take on other things (see Sideshow, Sunday; Mirth, Ministry of; thesis, writing of a). As a result, I have often found myself disappointed in my performances, probably due to a shortage of practice.

This week just clicked however. I felt very responsive to everything on stage, whereas recently I have felt sluggish, mentally. I had three scenes with Becca, Lucy and Simon, and felt each was a success. While the scene I had with Simon was the most enjoyable, I was most pleased with the film and theatre styles scene with Lucy, and I think we really kept a strong story going without getting lost in the gimmick of the game.

I MCed the second set, and was trying out a character idea I had over the weekend, when I was thinking a bit about the movie Man on the Moon. It was very fun to do, and I think people responded to it which was the main thing. I'll definitely be using it again, and am toying with the idea of using it to compere a Ministry night, though I'm not sure it fits as well for a standup night as much as it did with the joyously enthusiastic, nerd-cool of an Imps show.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

I have just got into using Torrents, which has enabled to keep up with the much-missed pro-wrestling that I no longer can watch in my Sky-less home. I was watching this week's episode of Smackdown, which featured a wonderful 12 minute Finlay vs. Benoit match. Dave Finlay and Chris Benoit are two guys that I absolutely know are going to deliver whenever they are matched up, which, joyfully, has happened at least five times in the past 18 months.

The first thing you notice about these matches is the manliness. There is manliness going on all over the place. The strikes are convincing, the chops are vicious, the holds have that extra edge of legitimacy. The second thing that seperates them from almost everyone else on TV is the lack of moves or spots. Each match has built around the notion of creating a true sporting contest. In this case, Finlay was targetting a weakened leg and so they hit the mat for large chunks of match, with Finlay working holds and Benoit trying to counter and fight out. Then, when the throw in a suplex or they go outside the ring, it seems a lot more meaningful and important to the story of the match. In the WWE, no-one wrestles this sort of match on a regular basis apart from these two, which is a shame, because this really is the next level up. On the indy scene, there aren't many that could be quite so confident in such simple match-building.

The match was obviously serving as a plot device for the Benoit-MVP match tonight, thus the non-finish. Conseqently, this match didn't reach the levels of last May's Judgement Day or the preceding KOTR qualifier. It's hard to feel disappointed though.

Friday, May 18, 2007

I missed this is the week. I can not say I feel sad. If his God exists, maybe He "helped this happen".

Thursday, May 17, 2007

A Result! Fantastic!
The more people that do this, the better chance there is of a success.

At 10pm this evening, Shoman Ahmed Mohammed will be deported back to Darfur, after his application for asylum was turned down. The Home Office claim that he is not Zaghawa, and as such does not face the risk of torture and execution when he returns to Khartoum. It would not be the first time the Home Office has made such a dangerous mistake. In February they denied asylum for Sadiq Adam Osman, which, as the link shows, had horrific consequences.

Clearly in a case like this, where Shoman's fate is at best uncertain, it would make more sense to err on the side of caution and potentially save a life. It remains a mystery to me why the Home Office finds such a risk to be acceptable. Moreover, this is not an isolated case, and quite clearly, current asylum policy regarding the assessment of Darfuri African ethnicity is quite inadequate.

So let's try to do something. Email your MP. Send him or her something like the letter at the bottom of this post. Ask him or her to at least call the Home Secretary and the Immigration Minister to account for this decision. Ask him or her to put pressure on the Home Office to postpone this deportation until a full assessment of the risk to Shoman's life can be made. Ask him or her if, in fact, John Reid and Liam Byrne are happy to accept the consequences of deporting a man, consequences that involve torture and death.

Mass writing has had success in the past, and organisations like the Aegis Trust are attempting to mobilise as many people as possible to do the same again. Shoman has about seven hours.

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Dear MP,

I would like to draw your attention to the case of Shoman Ahmed Mohammed, who recently was rejected asylum in the UK by the Home Office, and is to be deported back to Darfur at 10pm this evening. The Home Office doubts that he is truly Zaghawa and as such will not be at risk of torture and execution upon his return, in spite of strong evidence toward a contrary conclusion. Clearly in a case like this, where Shoman's fate is at best uncertain, it would make more sense to err on the side of caution and potentially save a life. I would like to ask why the Home Office has, instead, decided that such as risk is acceptable to them. I hope you would ask John Reid and Liam Byrne to reverse this decision until a more thorough investigation and assessment of Shoman's case can be made.

I am sure you remember the recent Channel 4 programme about Sadiq Adam Osman, also of Zaghawa ethnicity, who was deported in February, and was brutally tortured by the Sudanese Security Services, and only escaped with his life thanks to the brave work of organisations like the Aegis Trust. His story highlights the insanity of the asylum decisions being made by the Home Office regarding Darfuri refugees. Could you ask the Home Secretary what what specific steps he and his department takes to assess claims of Darfuri African ethnicity, since any current procedures are clearly dangerously inadequate.