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Dear Mr. Homes

Today is election day, and as a a voter, today is you're one chance to vote. Voting tomorrow is too late. Sunday is well out. Today is Votes Day.

I would like to tell you about myself as the Conservative candidate for Oxford West and Abingdon. This is because by doing so just before you go to vote, you will forget all the other parties exist. No, don't type that, Rebecca. I am married to two pre-school children, I work in the field of employment law and specialise in maternity and paternity rights and discrimination and as an expert in the latter, I was chosen as Conservative candidate for this constiuency.

Let me tell you a bit about what a Conservative government will do. It is the only party that opposes top up fees and doesn't want to introduce a graduate tax. I advise you not to check the reliability of that statement, because it is obviously true. We want to increase aid to foreign countries, and will spend £800m over the next three years, cancel third world debts and made free trade fairer. Anything, just as long as they don't come here to make themselves better off. Actually, scrap that Rebecca.

The Conservatives have also made a commitment to the environment, though you made not have heard of it yet. It is to be called Go Go Team Planet. Yes, that's it. We fully back the Kyoto Protocol, and favour a wide range of renewable energy sources, especially those powered by hot air. Hot air is likely to play a major part in many Conservative policies for this country, and our climate control policy is just one such example.

Finally, many of you have asked me about my views on the war. Quite simply, Tony Blair lied to the country about the war, which is disgraceful. A Conservative government would never lie about going to war, just as it would never sell arms to terrorist or totalitarian states around the globe, or fund oppresive regimes.

Yours Sincerely,

Amanda Maclean