Girls are so lame-ass when it comes to fancy do's. If you are a girl and you haven't asked this question once in the past two weeks, you need a penis implant, because you're not normal.

1."How are you going to wear your hair?"
2. "What is your dress like?"
3. "Where are you getting ready?"

Answers are: 1.) On top of my fucking head 2.) Nicer than yours and 3.) In my room. Where my clothes are kept. See you there.

Based on this and other things, tonight I will be saying the words "butt sex" as many times as possible.

Click me. I'm fun.

Click me. I'm even more fun and I follow on.

Last night, Monster was a great film. It probably is at other times of the day. Whereas 21 Grams is great in its complex story and film making skill, Monster is great because of the two lead performances. Charlize Theron was awesome and deserved her Oscar more than anyone. Her performance was brutal and real and emotive and somehow made you feel pity for a hooker who killed clients, robbed their money, and started justifying it in increasingly depserate ways. Christina Ricci was great too as the quiet girl finding herself in a world she doesn't understand, trying to work out her own sexuality, while being totally engrossed by her older, mentally and physical less attractive lover. There is an underlying theme of ironic optimism, relating to Aileen's desperate life, and also maybe to many of our own lives. Oh yeah, this was the good stuff.

Wayne, Chesney Hawkes is at our ball tonight.

Speak soon,

Craig

Hey all,

John's tirade yesterday was humongous and great. Go read it.

I am finally excited about the ball. I have a new suit, and it is good. I want to stay up into May Day, and I hope a load of you will too. Otherwise I'm going to bed. I also hope that drinks are included in the price of the ticket, because any party that goes on the 5 in the morning will cost me a bomb.

I have been listening to Venom since this morning. This anthology is balls to the wall. I would rather have the individual albums, as I'm pretty sure the first two albums songs are re-recordings, and the second disc is edited to cut the length of the really long songs, but for a fiver, I can hardly complain. Kronus is a great, nasty vocalist, and its thrash metal, so obviously I love the riffage and speedy guitars.

I have little else to say. I want to see Monster tonight, but we might not.

Current Mood: Evil, in league with Satan
Current Music: "Evil, In League with Satan" by Venom

Back to back lectures this morning. I'm not used to this sort of treatment. As I was listening to my first lecturer, Creeping Death entered my head. I am sooo gonna re-write my entire lecture timetable using Metallica titles. The second lecture was hugely absorbing, as the lecturer was entertaining and funny and slightly mad. He also seems to be the exact sort of economist I want to be. He opened by saying exactly where he stood on the issues he would be talking about and told us to make up our own minds how biased his lectures were. I torn between Frayed Ends of Sanity, Sad but True or Master of Puppets. You had to be there, I guess.

I have the Rasmus playing behind me. Cath got me the album, and I am hugely grateful. It's actually not bad. To me, if you're gonna make a pop-rock album, the choruses have got to be catchy, the riffs fun and the lyrics not cliched. I'd score it highly on the first two, and not so high on the third count. Apart from In the Shadows, the highlights are Guilty, Not Like the Other Girls and One I Love. They sound pretty mature, and it'll be fine to work to. After this is done, I have a Venom anthology called In Legue with Satan to listen to. Talk about a juxtapostion. I don't know what that word means. Curious.

Speak soon,

Craig

Today I made egg on toast for lunch. I poached two for me, and fried one for Cath. The fried one was fucking beautiful. You know how great looking food on a menu translates to piss poor looking food on your plate? This one wouldn't have looked so good. I wanted to laminated it for posterity. It should have been in the Tate Modern. I am King of Eggs. Bow down before me.

Current Music: One by motherfucking Metallica
Current Mood: Expressing my genius through fat and protein

Day 3 in the "Not Being Hit Upside the Head with a Fish" challenge...

I spent all of yesterday afternoon and evening doing a set of Economic Thoery questions. I haven't finished them.

I notice it is not sunny.

Yesterday, we had Chinese food. Wok 23 has changed its name. It is now Wok and Roll. I thought it should be Wok and Woll, but then I thought spring rolls, and things became clearer. Plus, it sounds like Rock and Roll. Which is a musical phenomena that all the kids are into these days. I did in fact promise not to mention it, because originally someone has said that regularly changing its name got people talking about it, to which I argued that people must really have nothing else to talk about if thats considered good conversation. So I specifically wasn't going to mention it.

Turns out, I have nothing else to talk about.

Speak soon,

Craig

Current Mood: You know when you reach the top of the stairs, and you think there is one more, but there isn't, and you almost fall over? A bit like that.

A rebuttal:

On Monday, April 26th, 2004 at 10:24 am, eleri_cat said: "You know what's really fricking annoying? Having Craig lying next to you at night whinging that he really wants to do his Economics questions and that he can't stop thinking about them.

Get a life, oh boyfriend of mine!"

Five minutes ago I said:

You suck.

Hey,

For some reason, I decided that this terms exercise of choice will be running in the park in the morning. This is painful, but I feel good for doing it. I miss having a pool close by. Also, to compound my agony, I woke up at half three in the morning and didn't get back to sleep until about six. Then I woke up at half eight, and didn't get back to sleep until one tomorrow morning. On the plus side, I did think about this week's Economic Theory question set a lot. I think I have a better understanding of it now. Woo, and if I may be so bold, yay.

So Shaun of the Dead was one of the most laugh-out-loud funny movies I've ever seen. I loved the first three-quarters, and wondered they decided to try for a straight out horror movie in the last bit. They should have just stuck to the comedy. My favourite part was them throwing stuff at the two zombies in the garden. They tried taking the heads off with vinyl records, but Shaun didn't want to waste any valuable or collectable ones. The result is the zombies moving slowly towards them, while they sort through this box of LPs judging each one, in the back of their garden. Utterly ridiculous and utterly sublime. I feel very proud to be British. Our comedy films smoke our US counterparts so badly. I wonder why more sitcom writers don't make feature films. I know Richard Curtis does, but they are always fluffy romatic comedies.

Lectures start today. I am ectastic.

Speak soon,

Craig

Current Music: "Numbered Days" Killswitch Engage
Current Mood: Infinitely superior than just less than half of you.

OK, from now on there will be a blogg entry everyday. For everyday that I do not post, I will personally beat myself around the head with a fish of increasing magnitude. I will thaw it first. Tomorrow...fish fingers.

Collections are over. Maybe you noticed. Last night was a good laugh, bordering on the very silly. I think we should try and recreate dumb games from our childhood every time we go out. Purple monkey dishwasher. I hope the bop was good for all you who stayed.

I'm a bit confused what to do today. I do have work, but I'm sure it can wait. What do people do with free time? I need some suggestions. How crap is that? I also need something to wear for the ball. Currently I have the shoes. That may not be formal enough.

Speak soon,

Craig

Current Music: "Whole Lotta Love" Led Zeppelin (thank you Windows Media Player)
Current Mood: amicable, concealing deep rooted plans of evil.

I don't need a LiveJournal.

I'm not in Oxford yet. I will be by this time tomorrow. Two months from now we'll be home again. And life goes on...

So, with the rash of journals now taken over our lives, as well as the boards, will anyone ever need speak to anyone esle ever again. I say no. If you disagree, send me and email. Or get me on MSN. Or carve your message in the back of a 8 year old Filipino boy whose only two keen to endure agonising permanent scarring for a shiny penny, and leave it on my door step. Him, not it. But, and this is the important bit, don't come find me and speak to me in person. I no longer understand speech.

I have played golf twice in the past week. On the first occasion, quote marks were needed around the word played. Today, I had a good round. Golf is the most infuritating game in the world. The good part is you really only compete against yourself. The bad part is that ensures your going to lose at least half on the time. Maybe more.

What else is new? We went to see 50 First Dates over the weekend, which was perfectly fine for what it wanted to be. It managed to even not be hackneyed and cheesy, but happy and cheery, which is a slight, but important difference. I like Adam Sandler. I fancy Drew Barrymore.

See some of you tomorrow. No talking.

Craig

Like...yo.

Quick thing that is bugging me. Does anyone even know which sport Dave is talking about when he gives those updates. Geographically, I think we are talking USA. I know its not football. Sorry, FOOOTBAAALL. It could be hockey, or baseball, or even basketball. I like to think that even though I talk endlessly about stuff know one wants to know about, at least you know its pro wrestling.

*Reads other jounals* Tom is never cooking for me.

Speaking of the wrestling, I watched RAW on Friday, which was a really good episode. That 8 man tag is one of the best free TV matches of the year. I've said those words three times since I started this blogg. I think it is maybe number two, behind Eddie/Rey. The whole show made me want to watch Backlash. Then I forgot about it last night, and didn't want to pay £15, so I'll copy it off Ad. Maybe you will want a fiver or something for that? Foley finally getting to do the IWA Japan Deathmatch he always wanted to bring to the WWE is sooo cool and unbelieveably wierd at the same time. Randy Orton is a king to take some of that shit.

I have more to say, but I want a shower. To quote the girl upstairs "I can smell you from up here". Classy.

Speak soon,

Craig

I've never done a blogg entry under the influence before. I'm not even sure it's legal.

I refuse to allow myself to make silly typing errors just because I'm a bit drunk. It's nothing to be proud of. Therefore, if I do type something that makes no sense, its because you're "stupid" and don't "get" me and are a "cock". Inverted commas own it the most.

There's a big hi to Dean, who I didn't realise was a regular reader of this here blogg. Twas good to see you tonight for a bit, even though you totally blanked me at first because I don't look like I used to. For all my uni friends, I now have my eyebrow pierced, all my hair shaven off, and an all over body tattoo of myself (but a bit bigger).

Hehe, Cath's a bit drunk. I laugh internally.

Tonight was perfectly fine. Scott, you are an almighty tit when drunk. Of course you know this. It's probably why I like you. Pete, you are so much better than you like to tell us. It was good to talk. (Team Griffin own. Pete will eventually kill Scott and eat his remains, out of true love). Wayne, hope you make it up to Oxford this term. Same to you Ad. I miss you lot. I'm promising myself to come back for Ad's 23rd, just because.

Sleep soon. I mean speak. Stupid beer.

Craig

Here we go once again with the blog-thing...

Some days have passed, and I have been to work. It has now finished. I like the people there, and I hope they will have me back. The late shift manager, Mick, is the most screamingly gay person I have ever met, and is hugely entertaining. He is perfectly comfortable with sharing his sex life with us all. There is this one woman, Lesley, who speaks unmitigated shit for the entire shift. I think she is allergic to silence. She is also incredibly un-informed and slightly narrow minded, as is typical of a lot of ladies of her age and background. For instance, "You know Indians? They don't rush do they?". For some reason we got onto Princess Di, and she explained to me exactly how she was murdered, and exactly why driver got "pissed up": "He knew he was gonna die, you see". I like her because she doesn't care what people think about what she says. In fact she seems completely disengaged with what's going on around her. It makes me smile. Everyone else is perfectly fine too. Listening to single mums talking is better than anything on TV.

I look forward to seeing you all soon, Oxford types. Collections annoy me, but I plan a good term. I suggest a lot of clubbing, especially at Sabotage and Panic, some gigging, and lazy afternoons in the park/quad. Does anyone have a problem with that?

Speak soon,

Craig

Long time no blogg...

It's been so long, I think the last time I updated we were actually winning the war. Today's satire was bought to you by the letters F and U.

Things that I have read and I liked: James becomes skinhead neanderthal at Molineux, thus destroying the fantasies of thousands of 16 year old girls acorss the UK, right here. Paul and Alex have a romantic weekend right here. Is it true love, is it just about sex? Stay tuned. John...says nothing new for weeks, right here.

Happy birthday Wayne. Sorry I couldn't be there but I was doing my...share of the visiting. Fantastic weekend with you, Cath (loadsa-loadsa-loadsa-love) It's quite sad to leave you house because I love being there, and it'll be weeks before I'm back.

I am thinking of starting a film club next term, so James hasn't always got to host. I have many new movies to watch. They are manly. There will be no chick-flicks. There was much rejoicing. I reckon we could do an entire term of Robert De Niro gangster movies, as I have Untouchables, Goodfellas, Casino, and all three Godfather movies. I also have Heat and the Deer Hunter to watch. De Niro owns it the most.

Speak soon,

Craig

Hey all,

Only scored 137 on that IQ test, which is very disappointing. I didn't finish it all in time, which was dumb*.

This is so the best story of the day I had a similar experience. I can swim, so I didn't drown when I landed in a puddle. Close one.

I really wish I had more to talk about, but that what mundane existences do to you. I watched a load of 90s All Japan last night on my Kawada comp. Tosh is the king, he's probably the best wrestler of the 1990s in my book (or in my blogg, perhaps). I watched his 1/5/98 Triple Crown match with Misawa and I really, really dug the psychology. Its an incredibly deep match, maybe even more so than the 3/6/94 classic. Tosh break Misawa down, first looking for the powerbomb, then going for Misawa's bad knee (hinted at early in the match), then to the arm to prevent Misawa's only remaining weapon, the elbow smashes. The finish is beautiful as Misawa looks dead, and keeps fighting back, but without getting any offense. These matches come out like great heavyweight boxing matches, where eventually it is the one who has done the most damage wins, not some crappy spot that ignores the precending twenty minutes of the match. This match is not, by the way, better than the '94 match, mainly because I prefer actual wrestling to the head-dropping that became the style in AJ after around 97, but it may have been the best match from '98, if it wasn't for the Kawada-Kobashi match later on the tape. That match is just thirty plus minutes of brutal action.** Kobashi sells the beating like a motherfucker. At one point he looks out of it and in a brilliant moment, turns his attention to the referee with a look that says "so, who are you again?". Magnificient, violent, awesome match***.

Check out Sarah's journal. She is a very funny lady. < /pimping>****

Speak soon,

Craig

*People who do footnotes in journal entries are cocks.
** Yes Dave I do mean you
***Don't look at me like that. Just learn your lesson.
**** I can't believe I made that geek joke. Wait, is this a footnote? What the...

So yeah, we're back to words of varied lengths today, just to show that anything goes, and indeed everything goes, right here on the Frogg Blogg.

Just finished listening to the Probot CD. I liked it. The best bit is that I now want to buy a load of 80s metal albums, and I'm sure there are loads of other people who will do the same. I loved Dictosauraus (featuring Snake from Voivod), Centuries of Sin (with Cronus from Venom), and first single Shake Your Blood with Lemmy is really fun and ready for the clubs. Oh yes, I will be 'banging to this at Sabotage next term. Eric Wagner from Trouble was my favourite vocalist on the album. The only track I didn't really like was Silent Spring, because while the riffage was good, Kurt Brecht's lyrics were quite tired. Dave Grohl has accomplished, musically, a quite impressive album on its own, one that hopefully will allow many new (not nu) metal fans an insight into a previous time.

You know what song is great? In the Shadows by the Rasmus. It's poppy and rocky and cool, and has a huge funky hook, and the vocalist is great and I love it every time (47 and counting) it is played while I'm at work. Time for a quick top 5, Top Five Songs on Radio One daytime at the moment:

1. In the Shadows - The Rasmus
2. Why Don't You Do It - 22-20s
3. The Hunger - The Distillers
4. My Band - D12
5. Edit: Fortune Faded - RHCP. I'm glad this no longer says that Darkness song, because its one of their weaker ones. This song, incidentally, is one of my all time favourite Chili track.

Going to the dentists. Speak soon,

Craig

Hey all,

This would be the one sound per word post I said I would do when I got back from my break. First, have a look at this. Ed sent it to me (where do you find this stuff? Cath asked):




Made me laugh quite a lot.

Next, my break. I can not say where we went, as that would break my own rules of this post. Look at my last blogg if you need to know where I went. As it was, a good time was had by all. Cath aches, but she still seems to not want to kill me for my choice to take her, which I can do nowt but take that as a good sign that she dug the exp...hol...place. Close one, there.

I am all sorts of back to the work, and am quite in love with it. Why do I dig my course so much? I mean, I took text books with me to read in my spare time. Still, there's just two weeks (and a bit) 'til we go back, so I guess I should keep up to date with things so I am good to go come the start of term tests. Should up to date and start of term have dashes in them, and would that mean I lost this small game? I think not, but if you care that much, please let me know.

This is quite hard to keep up, so I am going to end now. Come on Dave, I know you read this, so you have a go. And just so you know, I don't say nice things about you for you so you can store them on file.

Off to watch Neighbours. Oh. Shit.

Craig

OK, here's a challenge for all you bloggers. Write an entire journal entry using words of only one syllable. I'll be doing one on Monday, but I can't be bothered to think this evening.

Right, so what is happening about Reading? Are people getting weekend tickets, or are they targeting one day. £105 is a bit steep for me, but I'm sure there will be acts on each day I want to see. Is Sunday still the 'heavier' day? It used to be. Green Day and 50 Cent? Kindly go bollocks. Please someone let me know what tickets have already been bought.

We are off to Center Parcs tomorrow, so there will be no entries all weekend. The weekend will be a load of fun, as I really look forward to this break every year. A place that convinces you that exercise is great fun should be cherish.

"Fit but you know it" is a work of genius. Not that it is a good song: I personally don't like it. I dislike almost all urban music intently, and in fact, The Streets may be the most orginal act in the entire genre. But, and this is the genius of Mike Skinner, he has got every person who listens to music on the radio actively thinking about his songs and his music and that is something no Mercury Music Award nomination or critically acclaimed album can achieve. Everyone has an opinion on the song, and I laugh openly everytime I think about all the people saying that it is a bad song, trapped in their own safe worlds where no-one dare challenge what we call songs. I'd rather listen to the spoken word music work of the Streets than the bland tunes of all those bands its cool to like. Fuck the Libertines or the Thrills or the motherfucking Strokes, music should be more than this, and maybe, just maybe, "Fit but you know it" achieves more than said bands ever will.

Speak soon,

Craig