Wednesday, September 22, 2004

Hey,

Today I stopped to consider why it is people say "could care less" when they mean "could not care less". This is like the "inflammable means inflammable, what a crazy country" debate famously initiated by Dr. Nick, but in that case, the "in" is only a borderline negative, whereas "not" is pretty much a negative as negative can be. So I think to myself, I wonder if anyone else has thought about this so much they make a web page based on it. One quick Google search later reveal that 976 pages have commented on the use of the two phrase interchangeably. That is more pages than if you search for "peta wilson naked". OK, I had to find a fairly obscure hot female celebrity to get less hits, but still. Anyway, this is the best I've found at explaining the problem.

I also did a quick search for "hilary clinton naked", for kicks, which brought up over 3,000 hits. I find that distressing.

Anyway, back to more important things. Today I drove behind a lorry that was so wide it took up two lanes around the motorway junction island. It was so wide, it continued to take up two lanes along the road it left the island from, and just to make a point, it continued to take up two lanes for the next few minutes. After that I went a different way, hoping that news of its journey would be in the local newspaper so I could check whether or not it remained so wide all the way to the extra wide depot it probably came from. Rumours that once it hit Hinckley town centre it tranformed into first a Mini Cooper, then Octamus Prime, before finally settling on a submarine are as yet unproven. They have not been specifically denied however, so maybe we are not asking to right questions.

Speak soon,

Craig

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

I don't care that I'm going to be the opposite end of the Millenium Stadium to Messrs. Stipe, Buck and Mills. I'm going to be in the same arena at the same time as REM, and frankly, I feel fine.

Monday, September 20, 2004

Hey,

These posts are getting really spread out. Having nothing to say is not an excuse. Just look at t'other Craig's journal as proof of that. Will try harder.

Actually, I spend most of my days at work thinking of content. I'm saving some stuff for other times and other uses, so maybe that means this place is becoming Craig's Brain Lite, while the full version requires a $2.99/month subscribtion charge, for which you get everything I think of that is interesting, no pop-ups, and all the full frontal nudity you can deal with before you parents get suspicious about the number of colour ink cartridges you're going through.

I'm actually approaching a milestone, with this being my 87th post, and with several more in progress, I expect to post for the 100th time in the first few weeks of term. I had toyed with the idea of doing a poll of your favourite Frogg Blogg moments, the winner of which would have a sequel made to it as post number 101. I've got other things lined up as part of the festivities, which makes this an exciting time.

Anyway, I've seen films. Go and watch the Terminal, by all means, but don't expect to come out thinking you've just seen a good film. The first half is actually funny and heart warming as Little Foreign Tom Hanks works out how to live in an airport terminal. It's like Home Alone in its inventiveness, sans annoying man-child and impossible feats of human endurance. Tom Hanks is great throughout. The second half involves...the plot. Not good. Love story... so pointless. Catherine Zeta Jones could have not been there, and it would have been a better film. The back story and the conclusion are all disappointing and about as unabsorbing as your brain will allow a Spielberg movie to be before you blank it out like homeless people or an unusual rash. And the dialogue is rubbish.

Collateral is really good, probably the best film I've seen this summer. It's close between that and the Bourne Supremacy. Anyway, there is nothing for me not to dislike here. Well thought out and logical plot: good. Absorbing characters: good. Dark, subtle humour: good. Excessive scenes of wanton violence and cool fighting: goooood. The Tom Cruise hit man character is really great in that it goes above a one-dimensional killer and shows a man doing a job with a clear set of principles, which, as subversive as they might be, are still the principles that guide the character. Same reason I love John Malcovich's Ripley. I forget the name of the actor who plays Max the Taxi Driver, but it was a good performance, an equal to Tom Cruise in terms of performance, which is high praise indeed.

And finally... I spent the best part of an evening last week playing Ad's souped up X-Box. The emulated games are much better than anything Microsoft's twin valve engine mascarding as a games console has ever had specifically designed for it. I was like, wow, I remember playing this on my Amiga years ago, and Ad was like, I know, now watch as I destroy you at them all. Nuts.

Speak soon,

Craig

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

The following happened.

*Radio station lunchtime request hour show*

DJ: Hello Judy!

Judy: ...

DJ: Judy?

Judy: ...

DJ: Cindy?

Cindy: ...

DJ: Mandy?

Mandy: Hello, Steve!

DJ: Hi, but my names Tony.

Mandy: So's mine, but with an "i".

Everyone: ...

DJ: So, Toni, what do you want to hear?

Toni: "Want you back" by Take That, please!

*Meanwhile, backstage...*

Producer: Right, hows things looking?

Technician: Everything is fine.

*Back on air*

DJ: Oh, we're you a big Take That fan?

Toni: Yeah, I was gutted when they broke up.

DJ: Were you gutted when Robbie left.

Toni: I was. He was my favourite. Still is.

DJ: Do you like his new song?
Producer: Careful...
Toni: No, not really. I...
Producer: CODE RED!

*Transmission cuts, as the inane pop tones of "Want you back" kick in. The song plays*

*The inane pop tones of "Want you back" end.*

DJ: We're still here with Toni, who loves the new Robbie Williams CD.

Toni: S'Bril...brilliant. Love it. Definitely a number onepleasetakethatawayfrommyeye....

DJ: There we have it. Next up, more of your choices!

*Cut to jingle "RADIO: We have opinions, so you don't have to"*

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

Hey,

I'm avoiding the temptation to just post a few lines to say I haven't been blogging, and that as I'm away for another week from tomorrow, this will remain a blank space.

But.

I'm gonna make an effort, because I care.

I've been watching a lot of standup. I watched the Bill Hicks documentary and his final live show. This is hardcore. This is taking comedy above the easy, and challenging the audience. It's a guy speaking about why he's angry, and if he makes people laugh along the way, then thats great. But you get the impression he doesn't really care. It's fearless and awesome and if he hadn't died so young (aged 32, ten years ago) he'd be doing the exact same thing now, only with a different parade of clowns to ridicule.

Then I watched Tommy Cooper. This is the art of making people laugh by just existing. It's stupid and clever, and simple and complex. This is silly, he says, so why are you laughing? What is it about a small hand movement that is so funny? Why do bad magic and bad jokes get better reactions than good magic and good jokes?

This is just me bullshitting, of course. The entire tribute to him wastes time with other comedians saying the same thing ("Oh yeah, Tommy was just really, really funny") without the reason. There is no reason, so there can be no analysis. Its ethereal and transcendent because it doesn't require context. It is a much more simple comedy that Tommy exploited, so simple, only true genius could even begin to understand it.

I'd really like something to be annoyed about, but apart from the things that really make me angry that are here for ever, I haven't really got anything new.

Speak soon

Craig (I love you, Boo xxx)