So, I travelled Hinckley to Manchester, Manchester to Cardiff, Cardiff back to Hinckley, Hinckley to Cardiff, and didn't have a single delay. Couple of times, I was even early. On the way home, today, my first train was cancelled. I took an alternative, which got in ten minutes late, missed my connection, the next connection was delayed 33 minutes, so I get into Birmingham 2 minutes after my final train leaves. This train leaves once an hour. I finally get home at half two, having left Cath house at quarter past nine.

Why is it when trains are running late, the final one you're supposed to catch is always on time, meaning you never, EVER fucking make it? It could just have a small delay, and then everything else would be fine. But noooo. Noooo no indeedy no. Also, also, why is it, after having spent two days on the Super Sudoku in the Saturday Independent, that you have two fucking 5's in your forth column? I didn't go wrong. It went wrong on me.

We've been putting a lot of thought into the future recently. We definitely see next year as the start of our lives together, hopefully living together in Oxford. And maybe engaged. Maybe. I hope that nicely balances all the silly anger previously. Now I just have to raise the money for the ring. So here we go.

You, the listener, have been especially chosen by the Nigerian National Bank of Nigeria to receive a ridiculously large sum of money, which is approximately 5, and then 9 seconds worth of pressing the zero key down, Nigerian Dollar Yens. The only way to receive this is to send us your bank sorting code and account number, your PIN, your pen, address, spare keys, portable cleaning lady and a photo of your parents with a list of their old war injuries. Please respond quickly, because while this offer is unique, it is also unique to the entire county of Kent, a very unique county of sorts.

Love.