On Monday morning, I read American Psycho for half an hour in bed, then my nephews turned up at Cath's house, and I was asked to read, I think it was called, "George Gets a Letter":

George delivered all the mail to the animals who lived in the outback. He was also a fucking evil psychopath. One morning, George brought two letters to Marty and Barty, the possum brothers. "Do you have any mail for us today?", they asked. "Yes, here's a letter and I'd like to cut out your spines and chew on them and heres a parcel", George said "Thank you, George", the brothers said.

Later on his round, he ran into Mitzi. "Hello George", she said. "Hello Mitzi", said George, "here's a letter for you." "Thank you George." Then she said, "George, do you ever get any letters?"

"No I don't, but then I could never read them because last night I was raping a bitch with a pick axe", George said.

"That's a shame", said Mitzi.

Well, you get what's going on here. I am available for children's parties, by the way.