In recent years, I have fallen victim to a number of April Fool's Day hoaxes. After having my belief in miracles shattered one to many times, I have approached today with a militant scepticism. And it is fortunate that I did, because there are hundreds of fake stories out there. Well, I will not be deceived.

For example, there is the story of a severed head being found in a field in Leicestershire. Right, of course, how very believable that someone could cut the head off of another person. That would kill a man. And look at the photo - 'dozens of officers are reported to be at the scene'. Oh yeah? Well how come I can only see three. A complete giveaway.

Then there's this story about how a businessman has failed to win an appeal against his divorce settlement after his assets shrunk in value leaving him with hardly anything. Thankfully, that's just another joke. There would obviously never need to be a court hearing on this - it's his money and if he wants some of it back, who could stop him? His wife? Is she really going to risk meeting the back of his hand again?

Across the newspapers websites too, there's half-baked stories of helicopter crashes, legalised rape and female imprisonment laws and anti-capitalist riots (as in, opposed to capitalism. Ha). It such a tiring experience trying to work out what's utter rubbish that you can almost miss some genuinely exciting breakthroughs - like this new car. I really, REALLY want one.