A blog is a sort-of place where people write down their thoughts and then influence the world. I have been blogging for over seven years, intermittently, as we all do everything, being the multifunctional beings that we are. As yet, however, I do not feel I have enacted any particular global change, and I think this might be because I have never really had any clear objectives in that area. Therefore, my demands are:

1. Less wars. I don't know how many wars there currently are, but it always feels like too many. I didn't have a specific number in mind. Maybe zero? Lennon said 'give peace a chance'. But that's not the same as saying 'There should only be peace'. I mean, I gave Lost a chance, but I watched other TV programmes as well. Plus, if you say that we're going to stop all wars, but you overshoot, you're in danger of owing some people some war. So perhaps we should just aim to keep a few. Like maybe four? Four wars? That sound manageable, and pleasing. If shutting down the others proves difficult, we could just merge a few together. Is there really a need for separate insurgencies in Laos, Chechnya AND Yemen?

2. Something to be done about the environment/the banks/this oven (whichever is easier).

3. Smoking to be made more ridiculous. Cigarettes should be increased in diameter so they require two hands to hold. They should have a sad whistle built in which plays every time someone inhales. Would expect to see less smoking in films (whistle obscures dialogue, takes attention away from plot) and by musicians (to cumbersome to also hold instrument or play with hair).

4. Drinks to change temperature in the same direction when left in a room. Either hot drinks should get hotter or cold drinks should get colder, but the current system is an absolute mess and I can't believe we've tolerated it.

5. An end to 'less is more', and full reinstatement of 'more' to the role of 'more'.

6. You don't see many herons these days, do you? I'm not sure this is a demand, so much as an observation. A demand would be more along the lines of: I have to see more herons. But I haven't decided whether I think seeing more herons is desirable. Sure, to start with, it's all, 'hey, look, there's a heron', but after a while it becomes 'is that still the same heron?' and then finally 'who do we call about this heron?'. So maybe it's for the best.

7. Waiting lists to be made shorter, but deeper.

8. Everything else to be doubled.