Hey,

I'm back for a few days, for Christmas with my family. Then, they are off to Florida and I am off to Cardiff for a week. Oddly, I know which of the two places I would rather be at.

I'm full of a whole bunch of feelings at the moment. I'm not really exicted about Christmas, though I am looking forward to getting presents. And eating as well. I am strongly in favour of all over-eating policies on the local, regional and international agenda and hope to find a party who supports my views. But Christmas as this magical, special, incredible day just doesn't exist. Maybe it never has. Maybe it was just this illusion that afterwards you think, that was really great, but if you actually dissect it all, there's nothing there.

It's also quite sad because it's coming up to five years since a close school friend, Ed Matthews, passed away, so I'm going to the crematorium on Boxing Day to leave some flowers. Not only is it sad because I've been thinking about him recently, but its been five years, yet its felt like nothing. Fuck, I can remember being there, finding comfort in my friends, sharing memories, trying to come to terms with it, and it feels more real than just a memory. I can feel myself in those rooms, walking to the service, speaking to his Dad. And that was five years ago, and I really, really like to know exactly where all that time has gone.

Thankfully, I am still remarkably upbeat. I'm happy Cath's back for two weeks. I'm happy I've got to see my friends at home. I'm looking forward to the next year. I'm feeling good about university. Hell, I'm even looking forward to Finals.

I've decided not to use this last little space to wish you all a Merry Christmas. Instead I hope that the beginning of the new year is a time for examining the person that you are, and that you can, from this moment on, be as true to yourself and pursue your own identity, your own personal ambitions and goals. It's common at this time of year to try and do as much for others; I think its just as important to do just as much for yourself. All my love to everyone that I love.

Craig