Hey,

Things to do:

Christmas...done
New Year...done
Cath...'s birthday present shopping...done.

My Christmas really began at Cath's house where I was asked to decorate the tree with a theme. I was planning on going for The Uncertainty and Fragility of Human Existence, using the baubles to demonstrate the many obstacles we face, the ornament on top to suggest a higher being overseeing all of us and tinsel to illustrate the idea that we never know what is around the corner but after some consideration I went for Red and Gold.

Cath went out and had a drink with all her brothers and sisters (naturally she was surprised because she used to think she had just the one brother). The question, "what are your partners strong and weak points" came up, and when she told me, I tried to work out what my answer would have been. I decided that Cath's best point is that as a person I think she understands me better than anyone else, she is happy to listen and knows when I want to talk, and can comprehend those things that I value as important. On the downside, she persistently flushes the toilet when I'm in the shower. Sometimes she comes back and does it two or three times even when there was nothing to flush. Either that or she finds a tap to run, a sink to fill or a washing machine to turn on. On one memorable occasion, she started her own canal system in the back garden. Either way, I end up with third degree burns and hypothermia and the shower goes nuts and oscillates with a range of 200 degree centigrade, and a mean of five below zero.

There is nothing pleasant about having to wear five sweaters to get your body temperature back to normal while the flesh is peeling off your back.

While we are on the subject, does anyone know the secrets of the central heating system? There is something quite magical about the way my parents say "its a bit cold in here", disappear behind the door for three seconds, and upon their return, I'm sitting in my underpants and fanning myself with the latest copy of Sky magazine. In all fairness, the only change is the picking up of the latest copy of Sky magazine.

I did have a good New Years Eve in Cardiff. The key to a great New Year's party is low expectations, which I had plenty of when Cath's eldest sister brought her three children. The twins, both of who were ten weeks old, made terrible drinks waiters. There was dancing, you know, a bit of romancing, some giving it all tonight, but then, we were in that sort of mood. Come midnight, there was the suggestion that we go outside into the cold and the next thing I knew I was crossing arms and singing with my nipples very much on display, but in all fairness, the only thing that had changed was that we went outside and we started crossing arms and singing.

And then yesterday, Cath went back to France. I have this small memory that she asked everyone to go visit her when we called Party Central, St. Ives. We had some interesting conversations. John did his best Matt Lucas impression for "I'm the only sober one in this village". Dave was all "Hi guys, sorry, Meg's had just a little bit too much" and Meg was all "vomits", and Dave was all "It's in my eye!", and Shani was all "Revenge! Sweet Revenge!". I phoned Ad and couldn't hear a single thing because I think I called his megaphone instead of his mobile phone and everything sounded like a train crash. We talked for twenty four minutes. Anyway, we packed up the car and said goodbye to the canal system and that was the end of the holiday, and coincidentally, the end of this post.

Happy 2005,

Craig