Hey,

Lamb of God show was awesome. The entire show, all three bands, was blistering and I am so gonna buy all their albums as soon as I have some money. I managed to avoid the merchandise stand, which was a good thing because I always feel compelled to give these bands my money so they can feed themselves for another day, being the charitable soul that I am. Awww, look at him with his five inch spiked wristbands, his shaved head and his vitrolic growl. Isn't he the cutest? Dad, can I feed the metalhead? It is hard being in a metal band, and I like to feel like I am making a difference to their Jagermeister drenched lives.

In more surprising news I died by contact poison on my door handle. I have a theory about "Oh You Fucking Dumbass" moments that occur on a startlingly regular basis, which is that some people - we will call them Inate Dumbasses - find that these moments are the pivots around which the rest of their lives revolve. Friends, I fear I may be I.D. Please be considerate.

Speak soon,

Craig