In a debate yesterday in Florida, Mitt Romney accused John McCain of thoroughly deplorable views such a reducing the extent to which rich people get to use microphones more often, reducing the extent to which poor but hard-working foreigners are kicked in the face, and reducing the extent to which people who burn stuff now are allowed to pay only a fraction of its cost.

Tomorrow, Romney will accuse McCain of being nice to small children, having good manners and knowing how to make a truly exceptional meringue.

Conservatives hate meringue. No-one works hard for it, sounds French, and causes homosexuality.