Hey,

I'm weird. I'm trying to deal with it. For instance, we had a weekend in west Wales. On the Saturday night, we went out for a pub meal. The pub in question is having a hog roast pretty soon. On the way out, Cath's mum asked if the hog in question was still trotting around happily in the farm. The bartender and a local said that yes, he was.

Me: "Have you broken the bad news to it yet?"

Confused Welsh Local: "Um...no, no."

Me: "Probably was well really. He wouldn't have understood you, what with him being a pig and all."

Baffled Welsh Local: "Y...es..."

Me: "Well, bye"

Apathetic Welsh Local: "..."

I think people definetely need warning when some pillock asks them something like that. There should probably be a few set exercises to prepare for that sort of absurdity.

If you're also weird, like me, there is help you can get. The operation involves the isolation and freezing off of the...no wait, that's that other thing. Tricky blighters. Weirdness? No, you're screwed there, my friend. It just you and the broken bathtub of your mind from now on.

Speak soon,

Craig