Hey,

Yesterday I learned that the cost of a two year masters degree could buy me a small yet very real Jaguar car, that half the students who do higher degrees find the money from their own pocket, that the entire application process is a confusing trade-off between believing this is what I'm going to do with my life, and considering the possible back up plans should I not do well enough, and that the lid to my new biro was in my back pocket all along, and that I no longer have to worry about it drying up. I believe that this proves the the universe is in perfect equilibrium.

I am also now considering the logistics of owning a Jaguar. I believe the zoo would be willing to trade one for all my university friends. Me and Cath decided that we wanted cats when we live together, and I think why fuck around with a lazy moggy when you can get a real badass jungle cat that only causes a mess on your neighbours lawn after savaging their five year old daughter. I'd bring it to the door every time a fucking saleperson or religious nut stopped by, and when they got past their opening line, I'd say "You must want my wife" and after opening the animals jaws, yell down its throat "Honey, its for you". Plus, I'd never have to worry about my children getting obese. A couple of drops of meat juice in the washing should be enough to encourage regular exercise, not to mention a survival instinct that would serve them well in today's cut-throat world, and a nervous twitch whenever anyone said "walkies".

Speak soon,

Craig