Hey,

Seeing as I've been defriended by Alice, I suppose I'll have to leave my reply here. Yes, I am happy. Almost all the time, in fact, because my life is pretty good. It's just inane drivel that I'm not fond of.

Speaking of inane drivel, I went back to work today. Young, fashionable types are nowhere near as entertaining as middle-aged single mothers. " I can't wait to go out this weekend." "Ooo I can't either". Please, dear God, make it go away. At lunch, the pair questioned my ability to be faithful when my girlfriend was away for a year. I mean, they questioned, if I had the chance, I would go for it, wouldn't I? Hello, my life isn't a rubbish soap-opera, I can act as a normal, well-balanced, decent human being without surrendering to the urges of my inner frat-boy. Do we have a British equivalent to the frat-boy stereotype? My inner rower? My inner law student? My inner rugby jock? My inner tyre? Damn tyres with their gangster life style, sipping on gin and juice in the club with their woman, while some of us less well off rubber appliances have to go off to work as a kettle or a waste paper basket, working for the Man, or sometimes a whole bunch of Men. We all came from the same oil drum. They just think they're more refined than us. They should just get a grip.

Also, they (people at work, not tyres) don't realise when I'm joking. Says an older member of staff "what's well good?" Says I "Better than good, not quite excellent. Somewhere in between" Nods all around. Next time I will stand on my chair, announce "The following programme contains some mockery, which some listeners may find offensive", say the joke, then afterwards smile, point and say "that's you".

Speak soon,

Craig