Hey,
There's not been much posting recently, for the obvious reasons that revision and exams has taken over my life. I had two yesterday, which went OK. I annoyed with myself for some parts, which I know I could have answered better, but in general I don't think they were horrific. At the back of my mind is the niggling worry that They Need To Be Better Than OK, if I want a place for next year.
But what I really wanted to share is the following. There is a joke, called The Aristocrats. It's been around since maybe the 1920s, or possibly earlier. The beginning and end are the same. ("A family walk into a talent agent...." "The talent agent sits their for the longest time...") The middle bit is up to the joke teller, where he fills in the details. In fact, it becomes a complete anti-joke, because the punchline isn't funny, and doesn't make any sense. "Getting" the joke involves realising this, and realising it's really just an excuse to come up with the most overblown, filty, grotesque act imaginable. It was apparently also used by older comedians to bully a newer comedian into thinking he wasn't funny because he didn't get it, just before he went on stage.
Anyway, a film has been made, which was shown at 2005 Sundance Film Festival, where 100 comedians do their version. Eddie Izzard, Robin Williams, George Carlin, Steven Wright, there all in there. And there's a South Park contribution, which just happens to be here. Download it and watch it, but only if you're not easily offended. Then show it to your mother.
Speak soon,
Craig
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Monday, May 16, 2005
Hey,
Final imps show before exams and things, so if you fancy a good evening's entertainment, you know where we are.
The Trivium gig was pretty outstanding. Their set was awesome and I need to pick up their CD. My neck about came off, and the ringing died down sometime next Thursday. They did an encore and played Maiden, Metallica and the riff from 'Walk', before their final song. Three Inches of Blood were good and bushy beared, like all Canadian's should be. I've heard them described as battle metal, and with songs like "Destroy the Orcs", I kind of see why. The lead vocalist had spikes all up his left arm. Spikey equals greatness. Metal is simple like that. Anyway, they got the order right for this three way headline tour show, with the best definetely being last. Still Remains are good in the "yeah, I like metalcore" rather than "yeah, I like you specifically" though their closer was a lot punkier sounding, and meant they left on a high.
The new System of a Down song brings the choiceness. It's called "B.Y.O.B", and its System at their schizophrenic best. Here for a streamed version.
Oh and girls, I looked up Rufus Wainwright today and went to his site. I've got to say that I'd fuck him.
Craig
Final imps show before exams and things, so if you fancy a good evening's entertainment, you know where we are.
The Trivium gig was pretty outstanding. Their set was awesome and I need to pick up their CD. My neck about came off, and the ringing died down sometime next Thursday. They did an encore and played Maiden, Metallica and the riff from 'Walk', before their final song. Three Inches of Blood were good and bushy beared, like all Canadian's should be. I've heard them described as battle metal, and with songs like "Destroy the Orcs", I kind of see why. The lead vocalist had spikes all up his left arm. Spikey equals greatness. Metal is simple like that. Anyway, they got the order right for this three way headline tour show, with the best definetely being last. Still Remains are good in the "yeah, I like metalcore" rather than "yeah, I like you specifically" though their closer was a lot punkier sounding, and meant they left on a high.
The new System of a Down song brings the choiceness. It's called "B.Y.O.B", and its System at their schizophrenic best. Here for a streamed version.
Oh and girls, I looked up Rufus Wainwright today and went to his site. I've got to say that I'd fuck him.
Craig
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Hey,
Things things things things things ah yes thanks to everyone who came to the Imps last night. Nice to have a big contigent. The show was OK. Not an all time classic, and neither was my input, but it was fine. Oh, and a fucking nuclear BUNKER. I'm giving you gold here.
Spent Monday in the business school, came home and showered intently. Place makes me feel unclean. There is not a wall long enough to line every single self-satisfied management student against and blow their brains out one at a time. Hello. Welcome to my world, my world of hate. I'm reading some articles, and they are such a pathetic waste of my time. "This is not a science", I scream over and over in my head hoping someone will pick up the telepathic signals and spread the word in one of those god-awful management journals. This is, at best, common sense, and at worse, common sense mascarading as some exotic theory with names like Reverse People Spanner Theory, and Rigid DiseasedTangerine Paradigm. Stop pretending you contribute anything to the world, shut up and go home.
Does anyone agree with me that The Prodigy's Fat of the Land and specifically Firestarter are great, great pieces of music. We were watching this countdown of best number one's, and Cath said it was rubbish. Oh, it is so not. It's techno and industrial and punk and dance all together in a three minute ball stomping track that makes you want to mosh and rave to at the same time. It's the fact that they pushed a boundary so far no one even bothered to imitate them that makes it so awesome. K? K.
Craig
Things things things things things ah yes thanks to everyone who came to the Imps last night. Nice to have a big contigent. The show was OK. Not an all time classic, and neither was my input, but it was fine. Oh, and a fucking nuclear BUNKER. I'm giving you gold here.
Spent Monday in the business school, came home and showered intently. Place makes me feel unclean. There is not a wall long enough to line every single self-satisfied management student against and blow their brains out one at a time. Hello. Welcome to my world, my world of hate. I'm reading some articles, and they are such a pathetic waste of my time. "This is not a science", I scream over and over in my head hoping someone will pick up the telepathic signals and spread the word in one of those god-awful management journals. This is, at best, common sense, and at worse, common sense mascarading as some exotic theory with names like Reverse People Spanner Theory, and Rigid DiseasedTangerine Paradigm. Stop pretending you contribute anything to the world, shut up and go home.
Does anyone agree with me that The Prodigy's Fat of the Land and specifically Firestarter are great, great pieces of music. We were watching this countdown of best number one's, and Cath said it was rubbish. Oh, it is so not. It's techno and industrial and punk and dance all together in a three minute ball stomping track that makes you want to mosh and rave to at the same time. It's the fact that they pushed a boundary so far no one even bothered to imitate them that makes it so awesome. K? K.
Craig
Sunday, May 08, 2005
Hey,
I hate the Daily Mail. Case in point: the small tirade on last Sunday's Magdalen jumping incident. It basically said that there are too many students going to university, as evidenced by the moronic actions of the bridge jumpers. This event proves students are cretins, and they only get in through rich parents paying for the best education and moving near the best schools, so while their son or daughter is a closet retard, he or she still manages to get into uni.
Tragically, while the bridge jumpers are indeed demented, they are probably not unintelligent. Do you know any actual dumb people at this university? It was just supposed to be fun, if misguided, and while it is also fun to laugh at their stupidity, the consequences were never planned that way. It was, in short, an accident. To insinuate that low intelligence was the reason for the injuries only brings the same conclusion about the journalist who wrote the piece. I'm willing to believe that there are too many people at university in this country, or equivalently, the government is paying too much towards the entire university system. But I don't think the student body of Oxford is the problem. If you want a starting point, how about the hairdressing and salon management students at the University of Derby? Or how about meat technology and management at Leeds?
The article then went on to say that bringing back the grammer school system where only the most able of students had access to the best education and not the children of the most well off further pushes home the lunacy of the writer. For one, it ignores the fact that well off parents will still manipulate the system for the primary school years. Indeed, most research shows that the skills learned in this time are more valuable than anything subsequently learned. Secondly, it ignores the fact that the grammer school system may irreversibly condemn a bright student to a second rate school because of a couple of bad tests.
To my mind, a fair schooling system is one where all schools are given equal, uniform and plentiful resources and teachers are paid highly to stop the best being headhunted by private schools. The current UK system allows the money to follow the pupil, which inevitably creates a two tier education system. Better schools attract more resources, as parents from further away who can afford the extra travel expenses send their children to the better performing schools. Consequently, the schools they leave behind, and their predominantly pooer background pupils suffer because of a smaller budget. The advocates of this system argue that this system gives incentives for schools to compete more like firms for resources and pupils. But they forget that this is not an instantaneous transition, and even if a poor performing school does improve, it may be too late for a generation of children who have already reached its end.
Craig
I hate the Daily Mail. Case in point: the small tirade on last Sunday's Magdalen jumping incident. It basically said that there are too many students going to university, as evidenced by the moronic actions of the bridge jumpers. This event proves students are cretins, and they only get in through rich parents paying for the best education and moving near the best schools, so while their son or daughter is a closet retard, he or she still manages to get into uni.
Tragically, while the bridge jumpers are indeed demented, they are probably not unintelligent. Do you know any actual dumb people at this university? It was just supposed to be fun, if misguided, and while it is also fun to laugh at their stupidity, the consequences were never planned that way. It was, in short, an accident. To insinuate that low intelligence was the reason for the injuries only brings the same conclusion about the journalist who wrote the piece. I'm willing to believe that there are too many people at university in this country, or equivalently, the government is paying too much towards the entire university system. But I don't think the student body of Oxford is the problem. If you want a starting point, how about the hairdressing and salon management students at the University of Derby? Or how about meat technology and management at Leeds?
The article then went on to say that bringing back the grammer school system where only the most able of students had access to the best education and not the children of the most well off further pushes home the lunacy of the writer. For one, it ignores the fact that well off parents will still manipulate the system for the primary school years. Indeed, most research shows that the skills learned in this time are more valuable than anything subsequently learned. Secondly, it ignores the fact that the grammer school system may irreversibly condemn a bright student to a second rate school because of a couple of bad tests.
To my mind, a fair schooling system is one where all schools are given equal, uniform and plentiful resources and teachers are paid highly to stop the best being headhunted by private schools. The current UK system allows the money to follow the pupil, which inevitably creates a two tier education system. Better schools attract more resources, as parents from further away who can afford the extra travel expenses send their children to the better performing schools. Consequently, the schools they leave behind, and their predominantly pooer background pupils suffer because of a smaller budget. The advocates of this system argue that this system gives incentives for schools to compete more like firms for resources and pupils. But they forget that this is not an instantaneous transition, and even if a poor performing school does improve, it may be too late for a generation of children who have already reached its end.
Craig
Thursday, May 05, 2005
Mail time:
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Dear Mr. Homes
Today is election day, and as a a voter, today is you're one chance to vote. Voting tomorrow is too late. Sunday is well out. Today is Votes Day.
I would like to tell you about myself as the Conservative candidate for Oxford West and Abingdon. This is because by doing so just before you go to vote, you will forget all the other parties exist. No, don't type that, Rebecca. I am married to two pre-school children, I work in the field of employment law and specialise in maternity and paternity rights and discrimination and as an expert in the latter, I was chosen as Conservative candidate for this constiuency.
Let me tell you a bit about what a Conservative government will do. It is the only party that opposes top up fees and doesn't want to introduce a graduate tax. I advise you not to check the reliability of that statement, because it is obviously true. We want to increase aid to foreign countries, and will spend £800m over the next three years, cancel third world debts and made free trade fairer. Anything, just as long as they don't come here to make themselves better off. Actually, scrap that Rebecca.
The Conservatives have also made a commitment to the environment, though you made not have heard of it yet. It is to be called Go Go Team Planet. Yes, that's it. We fully back the Kyoto Protocol, and favour a wide range of renewable energy sources, especially those powered by hot air. Hot air is likely to play a major part in many Conservative policies for this country, and our climate control policy is just one such example.
Finally, many of you have asked me about my views on the war. Quite simply, Tony Blair lied to the country about the war, which is disgraceful. A Conservative government would never lie about going to war, just as it would never sell arms to terrorist or totalitarian states around the globe, or fund oppresive regimes.
Yours Sincerely,
Amanda Maclean
-----------------
Dear Mr. Homes
Today is election day, and as a a voter, today is you're one chance to vote. Voting tomorrow is too late. Sunday is well out. Today is Votes Day.
I would like to tell you about myself as the Conservative candidate for Oxford West and Abingdon. This is because by doing so just before you go to vote, you will forget all the other parties exist. No, don't type that, Rebecca. I am married to two pre-school children, I work in the field of employment law and specialise in maternity and paternity rights and discrimination and as an expert in the latter, I was chosen as Conservative candidate for this constiuency.
Let me tell you a bit about what a Conservative government will do. It is the only party that opposes top up fees and doesn't want to introduce a graduate tax. I advise you not to check the reliability of that statement, because it is obviously true. We want to increase aid to foreign countries, and will spend £800m over the next three years, cancel third world debts and made free trade fairer. Anything, just as long as they don't come here to make themselves better off. Actually, scrap that Rebecca.
The Conservatives have also made a commitment to the environment, though you made not have heard of it yet. It is to be called Go Go Team Planet. Yes, that's it. We fully back the Kyoto Protocol, and favour a wide range of renewable energy sources, especially those powered by hot air. Hot air is likely to play a major part in many Conservative policies for this country, and our climate control policy is just one such example.
Finally, many of you have asked me about my views on the war. Quite simply, Tony Blair lied to the country about the war, which is disgraceful. A Conservative government would never lie about going to war, just as it would never sell arms to terrorist or totalitarian states around the globe, or fund oppresive regimes.
Yours Sincerely,
Amanda Maclean
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