Hey,

On the tube yesterday we heard this announcement:

"Routes through Oxford Circus are now running as normal after the earlier closure of the stop. The delays were caused by a customer incident which has now been dealt with."

That's one pretty cold way of describing it.

Speak soon,

Craig

Hey,

You know we're rubbish as a people when the falling of snowflakes causes if not mass hysteria then at least the pinnacle of conversation. Local news had coverage of a man talking for several minutes, over a shot of a field with snow falling in it. The field was now white, I believe was the major thrust of the topic. Today's top headline: Snow Falls from Sky. In other news, War, Politics, Economy, War, but first, some more on that breaking Snow story.

The FTSE is down 200 points because of Snow.

Conflict in the Middle East now "covered in snow".

Michael Howard promises to reduce Snow if elected for the over 65s.

And finally, here's Peter Snow. He's doing, you know, his thing.

Speak soon,

Craig

Hey,

Walking back through the Parks today, I noticed the new gate had the numbers 18 and 20 printed on. How odd, I thought, that the Park would have a postal address. It certainly, at least to my mind, did not seem the sort of place that would attract much mail.

I had just walked past an elderly couple briskly jogging and had almost left the Park when I noticed a small pile of envelopes lying on the ground by a nearby hedgerow. No-one was around so I picked them up. Indeed, in my confusion, I opened the first one.

"To the Groundskeeper,

Please find enclosed the supplies you ordered for the coming summer season. We thank you for you continued business and welcome all future enquiries.

Yours sincerely,

Janine"

In the small package inside the envelope, I found four acorns, 19 blades of grass and some loose pebbles. The assembly instructions directed me to arrange the acorns near a large tree, attach the grass with its adhesive strips, and scatter the pebbles evenly along the path. However, as I went to open the packet, it ripped, spilling the contents. The effect seemed to be very similar to the one in Figure 2a.

Spurred on by curiousity, I opened a second.

"Dear Mr. and Mrs Winston,

While we most certainly welcome your dedicated jogging routine as a healthy and productive leisure pursuit, we did wonder if you were ever planning to return to Friendly Smile Homes. Only its been three days now, your dinners are getting cold, and we'd had enquiries about your room.

Yours sincerley,

Janine"

I had to read more. I opened a third, then the other two thirds, of the next one.

"For the attention of Mr. Squirrel,

Our records indicate that it has been two years since your last opticians examination. Please pop into our shop to book an appointment or call me directly on the number, above. If you can't read this letter, we suggest booking immediately.

Yours sincerley

Janine"

At this point, the postman came and left another letter. It was addressed: Craig Holmes, 18-20 Park Road, Oxford. Confused, I quickly opened the letter.

"Dear Mr Holmes,

We, the inhabitants of 18-20 Parks Road kindly ask you stop reading our mail, and that you move along now.

Many thanks,

Janine"

The elderly couple who I had passed some minutes previously finally caught me up. "That's nine, I think", said the man.

Hey,

Despite an ill girlfriend, I relentless press on forwards with life.

Some interesting stuff with the Project. Firstly, I added an article, which is groovy. Then I registered projectbrainstorm.net for the next two years, which is very exciting. Give it about 24 hours to figure out whats going on, and then that should do as the new URL. I was also hoping to add a mailing list feature to the sidebar, so I can tell people when there have been updates seeing as it gets new content only moderately regularly. This involves learning some HTML. Anybody, and by anybody I mean James, got some code I can just stick in? It doesn't need to be flashy or fancy, it just needs to be in English and willing to work long hours for little financial reward.

Not much else to note. The Imps show last night was very good, which I will continue to remind everyone until people start to force themselves out of their cosy nests and fly, my pretties, fly south, for one evening every week. It can't be that arduous, surely?

Speak soon,

Craig

Hey,

Actually, this is pretty unexpected. I haven't been able to use Blogger at Cath's house since forever, which if you all recall, was quite a long time ago.

Which means that yes, I am in Cardiff, and will be until Sunday at which point I won't be. I'll be bringing back the little Welsh one, which reminds me: I've got to put a couple more airholes in my holdall.

I am sickeningly pleased with myself for doing the Cherwell crossword. In fact, if I didn't need John to tell me that a tsetse is, in fact, a African fly, rather than just a word I had made up, I would have done it entirely on my own. Then, of course, I tried a couple from the weekend newspapers. I can't even do the Daily Mail one. Of course, it being the Mail, I managed to work out 1 down ("immigrant"), 6 across ("alien"), 21 across ("darkie") and 19 down ("fascist hysteria").

Speak soon,

Craig

Hey,

Megadeth were incredible. The performed a perfect set, with plenty of the old classics and seamless transition across songs. Occasionally, they would clear the stage, leaving the bassist on his own the play, taking a quick breather before building into another blistering thrash metal assault. Their sound was just shattering, where you could feel the noise as much as hear it. Dave Mustaine is such an absorbing front-man as he sneers through each song: I couldn't not watch him all the time. I chew people out for using the word genius, so we'll go one step down and call him a fucking KING. Plus, and here's the really great bit, he is an awesome guitarist. You end up stopping everything, including breathing, just to watch.

They packed in loads: "Symphony of Destruction", "Tornado","Trust", "Holy Wars" (a fantastic long version as an encore) and "Hanger 18". They also covered "Paranoid" as the penultimate track. Half way through they played a track I knew I recognised, which I didn't think was a Megadeth track, even though it sounded right. "Holy fuck", I thought "this is an early Metallica track". I was going to start that rumour. It was "The Four Horseman". It was beautiful.

Speak soon, and hopefully hear sooner,

Craig

Hey,

My life proceeds well. I am off to watch Megadeth tonight, of which I pretty excited about. Naturally. Especially if they go completely old school thrash 80s Megadeth. They are being supported by King Diamond, who wears a lot of face-paint, so obviously he'll be brilliant. Come on, it's a middle aged man in face paint. What's not to like?

On the down side, I keep getting warning from my computer box that some sort of horse has been found on a file. I find that very hard to believe. My harddrive is running out of space as it is. I was planning on "ripping" (vb. to extract music from a CD and then it kind of goes on your computer, but the really clever part is its still on your CD as well. So you could play both just slightly out of synch, and it would be like your, I don't know, going insane and shit. Source: Oxford English Dictionary) some music from my collection so I could eventually use my new iPod, but now I'm worried about leaving it all in there with the horse. I'd be going to find a song one day, and you could guarantee the horse will be sitting on it. Now, I'm not great with animals, for instance, one day I decided to find out if a cat would still land on its feet if its fall started from a moving vehicle. I'd have no chance with a horse. They have notoriously high standards. Then, imagine if the horse found out about all the new tracks - it would start galloping around them in no time, and that can't do them any good. They'll be all muddy and I hate it when the sound isn't clean.

No, I've decided, the horse is going to have to go. I'm going to need some help getting it into the moving vehicle though.

Speak soon,

Craig

Hey,

We need to confront, head on, a very serious topic.

I love kebabs.

I do not love kebabs drunk. I do not love kebabs when my taste buds are numbed, my eyesight blurred and my senses eradicated. I love them like, if not a child, then like a tasty night time snack. I love them with all my faculties, as a rational economic human being, completely in control of my own destiny.

And yes, I appreciate they are pretty much made with squirrel meat or badger steaks or something equally repulsive. In which case, I would like to contend, that the squirrel is a exquisite treat, and the badger a rare delicacy.

Craig

There was a man drilling and hammering nails into my brain as I tetered over the brink of sleep.